Take my own advice!

It’s funny I tend to give people really good advice yet I never take my own. Three kids is a blessing. Three kids, a husband, 2 dogs, and full time job is also very hectic. I used to strive to be perfect in all those aspects. Now I just survive. Not in a bad way just in a way that helps me to better manage my expectations of things. There is chaos and then there is chaos created by me due to intense pressure I put on myself as a mother and as a wife along with my mental health taking a beating some days. I am trying to see the fun in things when my mind for so long has been set on being perfect and polished. I am taking steps for my mental health to help make me the person that I want to be. Covid -19 was a good reminder for what I really find important in life. I am working hard on getting there. I want to push out of my routine and create a new one. A new routine where I write and take photos in addition to working. A new me where if I don’t get my workout in but laughed and played with my family instead I am ok with that. If I want to take some photos the dishes can wait. It’s easy for me to say but harder for me to do as I struggle with OCD and anxiety. I don’t want my children to grow up OCD or anxious like me. I want to encourage my children to grow and explore things and showing them is the best example. My son loves to write and so do I. I am always encouraging him to write but never taking my own advice. So here I am writing. It’s late at night and I’ve been scrolling the internet and just wishing I had an inspiration on knew where to start but I am realizing that inspiration isn’t always easy to find. It like motivation. You have to dig really deep and want it bad enough. So here I am laying in bed next to my sleeping baby and my husband writing as they snooze along side me. Now is the time I should also be resting so I will leave you on this note. I will hit publish before my anxious self can get in the way and put fear in me to either not post or save this as a draft.